What's in my pants? Um... yeah, none of your effen business!

                My therapist and I had an interesting chat today about how people, whether they intend to or not, feel entitled to ask questions that they wouldn't want asked of them.

                In coming out and having countless chats with friends and colleagues, I've noticed that some people feel entitled to ask about my body (and especially my genitals) and what my plans are for them.  I know that they don't ask to be harassing or mean spirited.  However, when you think about it, my transition is my transition... it's a personal thing and my body (and its status) is also my own business.  I mean, how would people respond if I walked up and asked "how's your vagina this morning?"  or "literally, how's *it* hanging today?"

                Suffice to say, people would be shocked and appalled that I was asking about something so personal.. however, when it comes to me, as a transsexual, people seem to think that it's an open topic.  Perhaps I lull people into a false sense of security when being open about my transition, but they need to realize that there are limits to being open. 

               

                People need to realize that, for me, it's not so much about having a vagina.. or not.  While surgery is a distinct possibility later down the road, for me, it's about living the life that I want to live... to be me.. to be Kacee.  I mean, unless I decide to move to a nudist society, my body is fairly irrelevant. 

                However, what's inappropriate?  Clearly, it's too much if someone asks, "so whatcha gonna do with your penis?" However, what if I'm asked "are you going to have surgery?"  This is the fine line that I walk.. I mean, if asked the surgery question, I'm willing to answer 'perhaps?  probably?'.... but, is this telling them more than they need to know?   I mean, they're asking politely and generally but, in the end, asking the same question, albeit in a more tactful way.

     Unfortunately, I don't have a good answer for this.  I know what I've been doing, but just wonder if I'm still being too open.  Ultimately, the answer is that, first and foremost, I need to embrace this as *my* transition and realize that I am in control, telling people what I want to tell them, and not a peep more than that.  While, for the most part, I don't mind talking about my body, it's more the principal behind it.... don't be asking questions you wouldn't want asked of you.