Coming Out to Dad

Hi everyone... just wanted to give you all an update on the coming out to Dad thing.

Of my immediate family (Mom, Dad, little sister), he was the one that I was least worried about.  We have a good relationship already and, even though coming out to him would show him a totally different side, I don't think our relationship would change.

The evening started out nicely... we got together for dinner and my parents house (Mom is out of town on a trip with her girlies).  My Dad picked up the sushi rolls and I made a yummy Chinese soup.  We ate, we chatted about 'stuff' and eventually finished eating.

Dad and I cleared the table and then started to talk... well, more listening for him and talking for him.  I took him through my entire history... starting off dressing, Southern Comfort and coming to terms and accepting who I am.

My Dad, an engineer, listened carefully and I could tell the gears were turning in his head.  I know he was processing everything I was telling him.... even though he didn't really say anything or have any questions.  Eventually, though, he was supportive.... I mean, a ts child isn't your first choice for your kid's future... but I wanted him to understand how I am who I am... and that this was something I need to do.  

My Dad talked to me about finding inner strength and 'having to be yourself.'  It was refreshing that he was focused on my life... my future... rather than his own concerns.  He also told me that he was not going to be judgmental.  I know my Dad and I love my Dad.... and I felt good coming out to him, knowing that I knew there was no way he was going to take this news badly... and he didn't disappoint me.

On the surface, this may seem like a whole lot of nothing since it was so anticlimactic ... but, for me, this is just another small, but important step in my transition.  Over time, I know he'll be more comfortable about accepting me as his daughter... and that makes me feel just a bit better about things....

Verizon, Can You Hear me Now!?!?!?!?!

I just got back from the Verizon store... and can't believe the depths that they'll go to in order to lose me as a customer!

So presented for your schadenfreude pleasure, my trip to Verizon... in 3 parts

Part 1: PLEASE stare at me like a sexual object!!!!!

I walked into the Verizon store, credit in hand and ready to buy a new phone. As most of you know, I've been researching and debating (nearly to death) which phone I would buy next... a Blackberry from Verizon or the Iphone from AT&T. After talking to many of my friends and, remembering that I'm PC girl, I decided to skip the Iphone in favor of either the Blackberry Tour (new, but flawed) or the Curve (old, but everyone has one!).

My local Verizon store aspires to be high tech and cutting edge, so, upon walking in, we're supposed to sign in on a computer, watch for our name on the screen and wait to be called. I felt lucky, after signing in on the computer, I looked up at the screen and saw “#1. Karine F.”... which was nice considering that there were now 3 names after mine!

“Coolness,” I thought, “I'll be out of here in no time!” 20 minutes and three laps around the store later, I was still first on the list. Curious, I walked over the the sales counter, where I spotted both salesmen flirting with their respective female customers. “Really!?!?!?!,” I thought. Working at a cel phone store, I wouldn't think that they'd need to ask for their cel numbers!

Sitting down on a spinny chair (and spinning around to pass the time), I watched TV on the FIOS screen. Hearing the giggling and flirting was getting on my nerve.... 10 minutes later, I was thinking to myself that this might actually be one of those moments where I wanted to be stared at like a sexual object... at least perhaps they would've called me quicker!

Part 2: The Mindless, Soulless Sales Drone

After what seemed like an eternity of spinning on the chair, drumming my thumbs on the table and seething, a third, previously unseen, guy called my name. I was quite amazed by his zeal and passion for the job by the way he nearly robotically intoned “Kore-inh?” I could tell this guy was a dork of amazing proportions and, short of being able to demonstrate advanced knowledge of Star Trek AND being able to explain the purpose of a 10 sided dice, he probably would be condescending and talking down to me.

I flashed the million dollar smile and corrected him. “My name is Karine, I'm out of contract and looking to upgrade to a new phone. My old phone has horrible reception.... one bar at home... and I want to make sure that I don't get stuck with no connection at home for the next two years. I'm thinking about the Tour, which I know is new, but has problems... or the Curve, which everyone has”

Zombie boy told me that it was probably my house since the coverage map is yellow, ignoring me when I told him that I only have one bar outside of my place too. He refused to match the cheaper online price, telling me that, it costs more to shop in the store because it's a different experience. I decided not to tell him about my experience of waiting for 30 minutes and listening to the lonely salesmen try to make a date with their customers.

When I asked him about testing the phone for 30 days just to make sure my reception was ok, he told me that, it would be totally fine. Although, if I returned the phone, I would be charged $35. I couldn't believe that, if their phone didn't work well, I'd still have to pay the return fee!

Disgusted, I moved on, asking him about the differences between the Tour and the Curve. “The Tour,” he said, showing some enthusiasm for the first time, “is our newest and most advanced Blackberry. You will love it!”

“But,” I interrupted, “aren't there a lot of problems with the Tour right now... like not being able to save applications and data to the memory card?” Telling me that the phone had just been released, he said that these problems were just minor software issues that would be corrected.

lol, not being able to save data to your memory card is just a minor problem!?!?!? I told him that I was worried about having problems... like my friends did with their Storms. And then, he did it... he actually tried to convince me that there weren't any problems with the Storm (contrary to the opinions of ALL of my friends and countless people who posted reviews online). It was irritating, it was annoying... it was exasperating trying to get a real and truthful answer about anything from this guy.

Part 3: Seething and Loathing in Torrance

Looking across the counter, I stared at the phone geek and asked, “please help me understand... you can't sell me a phone for the cheaper online price, I get charged if I have to return the phone because its reception is bad and the Tour, the phone you're trying to sell me, isn't even working right ?”

He didn't answer, but the blank stare on his face told me everything that I needed to know. I couldn't believe that I wasted 45 minutes of my life to talk to this guy and I couldn't believe that one person could be so über (note the use of the umlaut) useless!

As tempting as it was to jump across the counter and shake him like an Etch a Sketch, it wasn't worth breaking a nail over. At a loss for something other than a curse word, I clinched my jaw and said, “this has been a waste of time, you've not told me ANYTHING,” then turned around and walked out.

At this point in time, I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do. I'm not ready to risk PC/MAC compatibility issues with the Iphone or AT&T's shady billing practices. So, I may try to talk to someone competent from Verizon on the phone tomorrow and get better answers. Either way, it just seems like my local Verizon store is going out of their way to start drama with me!

My Manic Monday Morning...

I can’t believe it’s only10am and I’m sooooo ready to go home.  It’s not so much a being tired thingy, but I don’t see this day could have any more twists and turns.

It started out as it always does, waking up to the alarm at 5am.  However, feeling the ‘Manic Monday’ vibes, I hit the snooze alarm and didn’t wake up until about 630am, commonly known to me as ‘uber late!’

Rushing off to catch the bus, things seemed normal, just a bit later in the morning than I’m used to.  However, once on the 110 freeway, the bus started lurching and jerking, reminding me of my ride on the mechanical bull.  By the time we got to the USC bus stop, we had to get off of the bus since the driver had pushed this dying horse as far as it was going to go.

Dejected, we all stepped out from the comfort of our mechanical bull onto the noisy freeway bus stop.  It was mass chaos since no one really knew where to go or what to do.  It was fascinating to watch normally rational people rush onto random MTA buses just to go somewhere other than where they were.  

After about 3-4 random buses passed, I found out that a bus was going in my direction.  Undaunted, but very late, I stepped on with a few other stranded passengers.  Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw next…. A guy who looked like a 70 year old Criss Angel sitting with a huge wheelie suitcase that had a nearly identically dressed female mannequin bungee corded to it.

I couldn’t resist… I had to sit down next to him.  You’ll be proud to know I lasted a full 45 seconds before I said, “ok, so what’s up with this?”

Turning towards me, I saw the geriatric Criss Angel’s long black stringy and greasy hair… and black lipstick that had mostly worn off (I was going to tell him about MAC's lip primer and a rockin' black liner I saw at Sephora, but decided to keep that to myself).  He said, “She’s my wife.  Women nag too much, don’t take care of themselves, get fat and let their bodies go… but she’s different.”  He was too crazy (and sad) for me to get mad at him... so I just responded, "I guess she probably doesn't say too much."

 He proceeded to tell me how he met Clara, his wife, as he was walking into (!!!!!!!!) a lingerie store and was captivated by her eyes.  I have to admit, the cel phone pic of her eyes was pretty… the only problem being that they’re fiberglass!!! 

“So,” I asked him, “how did you take her home?  Did you just walk out with her?  Or buy her?”  He told me that he called KROQ and they helped arrange the marriage but that the exact details were “secret.”  Not wanting to force him to betray any confidences, I let it go.  

He asked me if I wanted to see the wedding ring.  “No thanks, it would just make me feel bad about being single,” I told him.  He told me that they had been married on June 18th, so I had to congratulate him on his wedding.  Lol, since this was a PG-13 bus, I didn’t ask the question everyone was wondering about… whether he had… ummm, BEEN with his wife :)

Right about that time, he started to rearrange his things and Clara almost plummeted into my lap.  Luckily (for her AND me... since I don't want to think about what a black light would show on her!), he caught her, stood up and started wheeling her toward the exit. As he turned the suitcase, I saw that she had smeared black lipstick on her face ..   Recovering from my shock and horror, ‘Have a nice day,’ was the only thing that I could think of saying as he left.

I know… I should’ve left him alone, but I was uber curious about what was going on with him…. and, judging by the comments from everyone else after he got off of the bus,  I could tell that I had entertained the other people on the bus as they were all equally curious, but not quite as forward as I was.

I wished I had taken a few pics on my camera phone, but, continuing the theme of my Manic Monday morning, my cel phone was dead and needed a charge.  However, I’ve found a video of his wedding online (Thanks, Google!!!) from KROQ.  

Anyhow, I don't see how this day could get any stranger.  I wouldn't be shocked if I saw zebras running up Figueroa this afternoon... although I'm sure I'll see my share of obsessed crazy people tomorrow for the MJ funeral.  Well,  just had to share a bit of my morning with ya!

July 5th, one year later

Having a rockin’ time last night at a fun 4^th of July party, it wasn’t even until I woke up this morning, that I realized that today was July 5^th.

 

Now you might be wondering, what’s special about July 5^th?  To me, it represents change and rebirth. 

 

July 5^th was the day that I lost my BFF… not through sickness, illness, disaster or accident, but through stupid girl drama.  We were at a club and she snapped at me… and, since that evening, I haven’t heard a word from her.  No   explanation, nothing… she just cut me off.  I sent an email to try and find out what the problem was, but never heard back.

 

Initially, I was uber bummed…. She was my BFF for 4 years and to see how she just threw away our friendship without saying a word really really hurt.  However, in the intervening weeks and months, I came to see this for the blessing that it was.

 

Although I had other friends, my life used to revolve around my BFF and our circle of friends.  When my former BFF, the Queen Bee, cut me off, all of the little drones followed suit. 

 

All my former friends ever wanted to do was to go clubbing… every day, every week, every time we went out.  I am three dimensional and always need some new challenge or interest… I love culture, cooking, travel, restaurants, photography, art, theater, movies and, of course, my beloved Kings…. and had always felt constrained by my former friends’ closed minded obsession with clubbing.

 

In the year that’s passed, I’ve let go of the anger and pain that I harbored towards my former BFF.  With these former friends, I was never able to be myself or collaborate with others in creative endeavors, outside of taking group photos at a club.  Since then, I have had so many wonderful chances to revel in the process of finding and celebrating myself. I’ve met so many wonderful, creative, supportive and loving friends… people who share my interests and love of life.  In photography, I can see how all of these new relationships have helped my photography to grow and flourish.

 

While I’m still hurt by the way that my former BFF and friends handled themselves, if I had it to do over again, I wouldn’t change a thing.  Without that split, I never would have discovered YOU…. the wonderful people who fill my life today.

 

A year after the fireworks of July 5th, I wanted to pause for a moment to think about how happy I am today and to thank each and every one of you for playing a part in that.

 

Love always,

 

Kacee