Hi everyone… I'm totally busy with work and everything right now, but I wanted to just take a moment to update everyone on my goings ons.
As the title would indicate, I've spent the past few weeks coming out to loved ones. I haven't made any final decisions about where I'm going with the trans-thingy… but, for some reason or another, I've felt the need to come out to a few people.
First was my Mom. I came out to her about 3 years ago… at that time it was the "I like to dress" discussion since that's all it really was to me at the time. About a month ago, I sat down with her again and had Part II. I mean, most of you know that, for the last year or so, I've been struggling with the whole trans-thingy, trying to figure out whether I want to start hormones, transition, etc.
In talking to my Mom, I told her about Kacee (again) and how this seems to go much deeper than just dressing up. While I told her I didn't know where I was going with things, she told me that she sensed that I would probably transition. She wasn't overjoyed by the news that I'm potentially TS, but was supportive nonetheless… which was nice to know.
The second person I came out to was my little sister. We're about 2.5 years apart and grew up fairly close. I mean, when we were little, we used to play dress up sometimes. She stopped playing… obviously, I never did. While we've grown up and gone our separate ways, we've still remained somewhat close. However, in the last two years or so, she's taken it upon herself to comment on all of the girly traits that I'm starting to display… whether it be growing my hair and nails out or the fact that my eyebrows are thin and well kept, I can count on her to say something at the most inopportune moment (i.e. at dinner with the entire extended family, etc).
I had planned on coming out to her, but hadn't planned to do it this soon. However, since she's been so relentless in 'calling me out,' I sped up the timeframe to Saturday. Of course, in classic Kacee form, we *scheduled* a chat for Saturday night at 7pm :)
I met her at home, just as her husband was leaving for work. We chit chatted for about an hour… talking about stuff that was going on. Finally, I asked… "ok, what would you like to ask me about" to which she responded "what's going on with you?"
I spent the next hour or so, telling her about the evolution of Kacee… from the time we we played dress up until the therapy session I had gone to a few days before. While I was always skeptical as to her motivations for 'calling me out' (i.e. she was giving me grief for the fun of it), it turns out that it came from her deep concern for me.
We talked a lot, we cried a lot, we hugged a lot… it was very therapeutic for both of us. In the back of my mind, I always feared that things would go horribly when I came out to her, however, I knew, intellectually, that it would be fine…. And it was.
I left her house 5 hours later, thoroughly exhausted, but feeling energized by the love and support of my sister. She's also not a 'rah rah' fan of the whole TG thing… but she's approaching it with an open mind and said that she just needs time to think it through. I had brought my laptop to show her some pix in case she was interested. She was, but passed because she told me she wasn't quite ready for it… I can appreciate that. However, when she does see them, I'm sure she'll be floored by the fact that we look so much alike… like sisters :)
Oh… I should mention that she still wants to meet everyone. Lol, for those who know me, you should know that she's even more sensitive to alcohol than I am! While I get my "Asian Glow --" after a drink and a half, she can't even drink. She's tried in the past and only succeeded in getting nauseous … and decorating the floor with the contents of her stomach!
Anyways, I really haven't had much time to think about everything since Saturday. The next two weeks at work are going to prove to be quite busy… hopefully I can finish things up early, well in advance of Christmas… lol, I still have lots of shopping to do!
Well, if I don't blog again before then, I would just like to wish everyone a happy 'winter holiday of your choice.' … which reminds me…. I still have to get down to Target to buy a Christmas tree!
Love,
Kacee
